Christmas, the ups and downs ... I certainly identified with something my friend Rachael said, "despite anticipation of the best day of the year, you're not on an immediate high and despite the birth of the Prince of Peace, you still manage to bicker over things like table cloth lengths..." yes I know that feeling. Well at my family we did at least in a small way give thanks for birth of the Prince of Peace: my Mum and I went to Catholic mass in the morning. For the rest of the time though, it was the TV and the turkey dinner etc that absorbed everyone's focus...including mine. The sad but honest thing is, I've realised that this year not even I could muster the will to focus my Christmas on the birth of Jesus...I hadn't really prepared for it during Advent (like I resolved last year to do), and I feel like a bit of a hypocrite because I would love to in some way help reclaim a 'holy' Christmas - but if I can't do that in my own mind, how can I expect anyone else to join in contemplating the joys and mysteries of his birth!

Instead I had been spending money and energy on some creative gift-choosing. And on NY Eve I have been invited to a black-tie party with champagne etc. ..but some time soon (maybe next year?) I hope to actually stop and challenge these ingrained Christmas & NY habits and work out how to have the contemplative or compassionate Christmas that I have been imagining for the last couple of years...